With Mother’s Day in the UK coming up (Sunday 19 March) we want to support our students who might find this day more difficult. In the lead up to Mother’s Day it’s hard to avoid its presence – from shop fronts to social media. This article aims to acknowledge the complicated feelings this day may bring up and offer some small tips to help you feel less alone.
Take extra care
The lead up to Mother’s Day may feel overwhelming and it can be more difficult than usual to manage your own wellbeing, this means it’s important to try and take a gentle approach to supporting yourself at this time. One way to manage this is to keep doing activities you enjoy and that support your mental health. Whether that’s keeping up with your weekly yoga or exercise classes, continuing your volunteering activities or seeing your mates, sticking to your routine can help you navigate this time.
Similarly, it’s easy to let day to day self-care slip when we’re not feeling so good. Things like prepping yourself easy, healthy meals for you to eat after a day of classes or keeping your home clean and tidy can go a long way to helping you feel good. If you feel up to it, try to do something that is nourishing for yourself that gives you a little extra comfort at this time. From getting yourself a tasty treat, wearing something extra cosy whilst watching your favourite film or cooking yourself your favourite meal. These small actions can go a long way to allow yourself some time and space to keep your own personal favourite self-care habits in your week.
Reach out
It’s easy to think you’re the only one who struggles with Mother’s Day, but there’s lots of reasons people might find this day hard. Talking to someone you trust and sharing how you’re feeling might help you feel less alone. If the thought of going for a coffee doesn’t feel doable, you could try inviting your friend for a walk where conversation often flows a little easier. Whilst it might feel scary to talk about how you’re feeling, sharing your worries with mates can help you feel less alone and lets them support you when you’re feeling low. If it feels difficult to talk about how you’re feeling then you might find journalling, drawing or moving your body a helpful way to express your emotions.
Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know. The Health Assured 24/7 helpline and app offers access to mental health support from trained counsellors and advisors who are ready to listen and provide help whenever you need it. It’s anonymous, non-judgmental and available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
Make a plan
Even if you feel good in the lead-up we recommend making yourself a plan for the day itself so you’re not at a loose end. You could arrange to have coffee or brunch with your friends, go on a walk outside of the city or do an activity that you enjoy. Having a couple of plans will help give yourself a little extra care on the day.
If you feel able to, you could use this day to celebrate yourself and your support system. Is there a friend, neighbour or relative you can thank for being part of chosen family? You could think about ways to celebrate together, such as going for a walk in nature, cooking a meal you both enjoy or catching up via video call. By reaching out to the people around you, it might also help you feel less alone if you find this day difficult.
Social media can often be full of posts on Mother’s Day. If you find this overwhelming, remember that you can mute accounts without people knowing or even delete the app for the day to give yourself a break. Don’t feel bad for giving yourself the space you need online.
Ask for help
If you’re finding things difficult, know that you don’t have to deal with this alone and there’s a variety of support available to you. We understand that taking the first step and asking for help can be difficult, so we’ve got lots of ways you can access support which we’ve listed on our Mental Health and Wellbeing Support article. You can also visit our Student Support webpages which has lots of online tools to help you manage your wellbeing throughout the year.
If you’re not already accessing support as an estranged student or as a care experienced student and would like to find out more about the specific support that the university offers for this group of students, please visit the estranged students webpage. Or for tailored support to help you with bereavement please visit the student grief network or Cruse.