‘Is there anyone else whose mind does this?’ – “Get Well Soon”, Ariana Grande.

The social and academic parts of being a fresher are discussed left right and centre. I spent EVERY day on social media post-results day finding advice on how to get the best of my first year at university. By the time I had moved into university halls, I felt two things were sure: my screen time was far too high and that I had collated all the necessary wisdom needed to thrive at freshers. How little I knew… well about thriving that is!

Moving out of university halls for the winter holidays, I felt like I knew less than I did before I began. What I was not aware of was the extent to which you grow emotionally and spiritually. You hear time and time again that you inevitably will experience a shift as you adjust to your new life, but you don’t hear what this shift brings.

Spoiler, it is so beautiful.

Moving away from home meant everything was a clean slate. The environment that shaped me was no longer there to define me. There were no more family roles to play and no expectations from others, the only concrete thing with me was me.

And it’s oh so fun.

I mean, you can order takeaway at 1am, you can impulsively have a night out, and you have full authority over yourself. It also allows you to be free. There are many of us who felt as if we could not truly be ourselves at home for many reasons, and university is your first chance to unravel everything you have not had the space to unpack before.

University, for most of us, is the first time we find ourselves in an environment with so many people of different backgrounds, personalities and hobbies to choose from (just remember that UoM has 400+ societies alone!). In an environment where our differences are not just accepted but truly celebrated, it is the first time we get to explore who we are at our most authentic – without judgement.

It teaches us who we are when no one is looking.

For me, this realisation was not an active one, rather a very confusing journey. There were large parts of myself that I had accepted as concrete fact before I arrived at Manchester, only to find that concrete was actually quicksand.

I had thought of myself as someone who does not cry. Crying simply was not a thing in my household. It was a perfectly healthy emotion – for other people, not me. University pulled those deep-seated stereotypes regarding crying right out from underneath my feet. I can’t remember the reason of the first time I cried, but I remember the realisation being so vivid – that I was now allowed to cry, and there was no reason to tough it out anymore. Having a space to myself gave me unpack whatever without putting a front on, and I became my own haven. It sounds so sappy; I promise you I also hear it but there is no other way to describe it!

University is a big journey; you hear it said a million times over but you don’t feel the weight until you’re a month in and realise that this is your new normal. It sounds daunting but it is so beautiful. It is painful to say goodbye to what you so deeply knew but if you let it, university can reshape you for the better. There are so many opportunities that university gives you that only translates to growth. Let me share what I’ve done in my first semester alone:

• Joined Arabic classes
• Baked for the first time (I fear it was a fail, but hey)
• Completed a Data Analytics course with IBM alongside my university studies
• Became an Academic Representative for my course
• Got my first ‘Big Girl Job’ working with the University as a content creator
• Visited Liverpool, London, Leeds, York, Crosby, Loughborough and Birmingham
• Visited Liverpool about seven more times (oops)
• Decided to raise £3000 for charity and hike the tallest free-standing mountain in the world to support the cause
• Completed two whole journals

In my next semester, I plan to fall deeper into the unknown and own it completely. The university has an insane amount of personal/career opportunities, and I will be actively pursuing any opportunity I fancy, even if I know that its not what I seriously want for my future.

University is still something slightly daunting to me – but second semester is about me embracing that feeling and doing it all anyways. I truly felt that something was wrong with me to feel so emotional and lost in first semester, but with my head above the clouds I can now see that it wasn’t just me. Chat to your friends and peers if you’re ever feeling lost, upset, or behind.

You’ll be surprised to find it isn’t just your mind that does that!