“Thank you so much for applying for this position. Unfortunately…”

These words have a way of cutting deep. Many of us have experienced the sting of rejection, whether it’s from a job application, an end-of-year test, or a competitive team selection. It’s natural to feel hurt when months of preparation seem to vanish with a single “no.” However, behind every rejection or failure, it’s important to understand that our efforts, no matter how they seem in the moment, are never wasted.

Just like everyone else, I’ve come face to face with failure too. I’ve faced multiple rejections from internships, received less-than-ideal grades, and didn’t make the University Symphony Orchestra. However, by changing the way I viewed failure, I learnt to bounce back stronger each time. After all, “It’s not about how hard you get hit; it’s about how you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Why do we chase success?

But before I share the secret to turning failures into success, I think it’s important to think about why success is important – and I think it’s that we romanticise it.

We live in a culture that glorifies overnight success. With your socials flooded with content such as “How I Get Perfect Grades in Under 24 Hours,” (or something very similar) it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re not doing enough.

However, one thing we always gloss over is how this is a case of “survivorship bias.” As a society, we tend to shine a light only on the successes, giving us a false sense of how common, or easy, achieving that success really is.

Think about it: if the video was instead titled “How I Achieved Above 60% After Months of Studying,” you’d definitely be less enticed to press on it, even if it’s a more realistic approach.

The deep, dark secret that no one wants to admit is that failure reinforces success! Without failure, we don’t have the opportunity to grow or the ability to truly appreciate our wins.

Ironically, the reason why success feels so good and rewarding is because of all the hardship and failure along the way—it’s the journey that makes the destination feel worth it!

Understanding that failure with reflection is better than success.

So, now to start looking at how to change your views on failure.

To me, it’s crucial to understand that failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s a part of it. Neither brushing off failure or wallowing in self-pity about it are helpful, but if you take some time to think about why it happened (in a constructive way, of course; beating yourself up never leads to a positive change), you’ll most likely avoid the same roadblocks you’ve faced before!

By sitting down and honestly assessing what went wrong and what you can do better next time, you can gain a lot of insight that prepares you for your next challenge.

Think of it like this: failure without reflection is like tripping over the same rock every day simply because you never noticed it was there. By acknowledging this rock, you’ll be able to step over it, and better yet, be more aware of more rocks that may lie further down the path.

For example, when I first started applying for internships, I had no idea what to expect. Due to the competitive nature of these positions, I faced rejection after rejection. But I soon realised that many companies were asking very similar questions, even if they were from completely different sectors!

I could have just accepted defeat, blamed it on bad luck, or kept blindly applying to internships, but this wouldn’t have made me better at interviews. So I reflected on my experiences and tried to identify what needed to be fixed and I eventually landed my first internship after more than 20 rejections.

The same principle applies to university exams! Getting a bad grade is disappointing. Blaming it on the fact that the test was too hard or that you didn’t study enough isn’t going to improve your future grades.  But if you can assess exactly the areas you struggled on – was it the method you used to study or your time management for example – you can work on them and hopefully improve next time.

Embracing failure as a stepping stone rather than a setback is a powerful way to grow, learn, and ultimately, succeed.

Still struggling to find the positive?

Of course, me telling you that failure is good over and over again isn’t going to make you believe it, and trying to work things out on your own can be difficult. I’ve found that sometimes an outside perspective is needed and support from the services and people below has been invaluable:

• The Careers Service: Struggling with interviews or application forms and can’t see why? The Careers Service offer CV, interview, application, assessments centre support and also general careers advice.
• Your academic tutor/people in higher years on your course: One of the best ways to move forward is to learn from those who’ve been in your shoes. Academic tutors and students in higher years have faced similar challenges to you and in my experience, will always be more than happy to give you advice. They’re not just experts in their subjects—they’re also people who understand what it’s like to overcome the same struggles you’re having now.
• Friends: Sometimes, sharing your challenges with friends can help you see things in a new light. Remember, you’re in this together, so having someone to relate to can help you support each other’s weaknesses and amplify each other’s successes.

My final words? Success is not defined by the absence of failure but by how we take advantage of our failures. Every “no” or rejection is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and ultimately grow stronger.

Success may feel great, but the real achievement lies in continually pushing your limits and learning from the process. So take a deep breath, lean on the support around you, and keep moving forward.

You’ve got this!