You’re an introvert? Me too! And guess what? I’ve just finished my undergraduate degree at The University of Manchester.

So?

Well, I’m an introverted introvert, you literally cannot beat me at this game, and if you’re struggling with the idea of being a university student while being introverted, I am living proof that you can get through this!

It started off with me applying to the University and getting my place. My jaw was on the floor. I was like ‘Me? ME?!’ My imposter syndrome was NAWT helping me. But I did it at my own pace. So, if you’re anything like me, carry on reading because I’ll be getting into the nitty gritty details of how I was able to tailor my university experience to me, rather than the other way round.

1. I took my time

While everyone was raising their hands in lectures, making friends, being really confident, befriending lecturers, and whatever else extroverted people do… I did this all, but slowly at my own pace. People achieved these goals within a month of being into university, whereas I took three years to do this. But so what? At the end I was able to achieve all of this, it just took me a bit more time, and I’m proud of it.

Embrace the introverted-ness, it’s what makes you… you. I don’t care what you’ve heard from social media or others, it literally does not matter. Being an introvert is always okay. We just take our time breaking out of our shells.

2. Quality over anything

It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, it’s about what you achieve, and owning it. While others had massive friendship groups, I had three close friends. They’re the people that shaped me throughout my undergraduate years, and I’ll always be ever so grateful to them. We didn’t do extravagant things. We kept it small, and in our comfort zones. Studying over video calls when we couldn’t meet, eating lunch together at unviersity, exploring cafes and food places, and going out here and there. That’s it really, but it meant a lot to me. Comparison is a thief of joy. Look at what you’ve achieved and just think, ‘Yeah I did that. I would never have done that before, but I did that, and I feel great!’

I’m relating this to friendship groups, but for you, it could be about your grades, becoming confident, speaking up in seminars or anything else. But, whether you’re able to get this done or not, it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, it’s about what’s in your comfort zone. If you’re having a hard time with any of this, there’s so much help out there. For example, the University has a buddy scheme to support you in making friends. You can also reach out to staff members if you’re having a hard time, contact the counselling service where you can speak to a professional, or there’s even confidence workshops and schemes, that helped me a lot!

3. Starting small

I made my first friend after joining a society. When I first joined, I thought, ‘Yep I’m never going to any of the events’, and just joined for the sake of it. But then I saw a bunch of people having a conversation on the group chat, and I thought ‘Yep, this is my domain’. Any none-face-to-face communication was perfect for me. I even asked if anyone wanted to meet up to eat lunch and let them know where I was. Three people turned up, which was shocking, like, woah that actually just happened. It made sense as it was the first few weeks into first year. Thankfully one of the people that I ate lunch with was studying the same course as me, and we hit it off.

Even though I never meant for this to happen, I ended up making the perfect friend, since we were quite similar and she was in the same position as me. Introverted, shy, but wanting to try to make friends and connections. It made me realise I wasn’t the only one experiencing this. The perfect advice I’ve learnt is to find people like me, rather than forcing myself to fit in elsewhere.

In terms of my confidence, this really improved in my second year! I was speaking up in seminars, and being more open and more like myself. Just think of your first year as a test or a trial. You’ll learn what’s good for you, and what you prefer, and then you can start testing it out more in your second year, and then solidify it in your third year, helping you grow as a person.

For example, I feared rejection. I had built a world in my head where no one wanted to help and would always say ‘no’. Turns out that really wasn’t reality. I was fearing my made-up thoughts. In the real world, when I reached out for help or did things I had never done before, staff and fellow students were always much nicer and more supportive than I’d thought possible. Thoughts are definitely not reality!

It’s scary but try it out. Talk to the person next to you, join group chats and societies, or keep it digital at first if you prefer, like I did. But start small, and you’ll realise that it’s much easier than you think.  

4. Nope!

It’s always okay to take time for yourself. If you’re not ready, don’t force yourself to be. Whether it’s saying no to an outing or not being ready to expand your comfort zone, that is okay. Take time for yourself always, and prioritise yourself physically and mentally. Reach out to someone if you’re having a hard time. A friend, a family member, or even someone at the university. Rest assured, there is always someone to help.

If you need practice, that’s a good way to start. Maybe practice conversation starters, or what you could say to someone you meet that day. It’s something I’ve always naturally done and helps. I now have a massive database in my head full of them.

I hope this read was worth it, and the best thing to do is embrace the introverted-ness. That’s what will make you confident, grow, and find your place in this university!