The festive season over December often sees many indulgences as well as time away from work…or at least trying to do the latter. As opportunity-filled and exciting as academia can be, the pressure to not switch off and taking a break from your screen/desk can be a real work culture challenge. It can be full of guilt-ridden emotions and anxiety around not completing things at a fast pace. As someone who has had too many experiences of getting physically ill from overworking, pressuring herself since school and suffering the long-term consequences, this blog post contains my reflections around resting as well as a tip I have found helpful for resting over the winter break. Of course, this is applicable across any breaks…and whenever you just need to switch off!
The guilt-ridden inner voice
Many of us, particularly as PhD researchers will have that inner voice telling us we haven’t done enough, we’ve got lots to be getting on with and that we don’t have time to stop working. During the times we stop, we see others working ‘harder’ and ‘faster’ and worry that we are not doing the same. The voice can often pop up in many unanticipated ways and from my experience it can cross over a lot with imposter syndrome, convincing me that I should not be doing the PhD if I am not constantly working on it. The other thoughts I have experience have been that if I am not feeling exhausted or actually sleeping and not working, that I am doing something wrong. Think about what I have said there though. If this sounds familiar to your experience, how does that actually make you feel? When I read those words back to myself about my experience with this, that reminds me just how bad it is that this is something I see so easily normalised.
Comparison to others
I find this is one of those habits that is very easy to slip into. As a PhD researcher, I am surrounded by others conducting very similar research but totally different projects. And I constantly remind myself that we are all different, not just the projects. This means that things will take longer for some of us, meaning things will get finished or be concluded at different times. Life happens to all of us in different ways, therefore we all face an array of challenges and handle these using many techniques. As touched upon in the previous section, this can make us go into panic when we see others getting further towards that finish line when we still feel far from done.
Note technique
So, I have reflected on my experience, but what would I share as a tip for managing this? I don’t have an extensive list, but I do find this one concept very helpful and can be adapted using different mediums. This is a favourite technique of mine which I have found reduces any shame of not working even if you have a tempting itch to scratch to work hard on a new idea when you’re taking a break. You may well have had the experience of your best ideas and problem solving happen when you decide to rest and take time away from work. Then the frustration hits when you’re trying not to work. However, I find there’s no point in getting annoyed at this but working with it. At the end of the day, I am happy these ideas come up. So, what I like to do is always have a notebook, my phone or something I can just jot a note about the idea down so I can return to it later. To reduce getting annoyed and forgetting where I wrote something down, I find it can be helpful to have a specific set area relating to a topic. For example, if I am taking a break from work over the festive period, I will have a couple of pages in a notebook or a specific memo on my phone to instantly type ideas for similar things. Or, I will even have a voice memos folder to remind myself to type some ideas for thesis content (even if we’re talking months later). This still allows the ideas to flow and come out when they do but to not get agitated by trying to shut them out and ‘trying’ to rest.
So whatever your plans are this winter, I hope you manage to catch some kind of break for yourself as the activity around university quietens for the time. It might be that this is actually your ideal time to get some work done because of the general lowering of noise on campus with everyone going home. Or, as I usually find, it might be the best time for you to also take a proper break from your research while you have no opportunity to collaborate with the usual people you may work with. Whatever your plans, I wish you a lovely time away for yourself and hope you have a chance to recuperate over the winter period.