Uni can often appear as a highlight reel and while those moments absolutely exist, they don’t tell the full story. The reality is that university also involves navigating struggles with mental health, physical illness, academic pressure, financial stress, and sometimes completely unplanned events. In my case, I feel I’ve been juggling a lot of these over the past few years, including unexpected grief throughout. Learning to manage these challenges is just as much a part of the experience as earning your degree and creating your own highlight reel. 

I think it’s important to acknowledge: it’s okay not to love university all of the time. 

Beyond academic pressure 

Alongside the positives of freedom, academic growth, and making new friends, comes pressure. Academic stress is only one part of it. Financial worries, personal issues, housemate tensions, and uncertainty about the future can weigh heavily. The transition from structured school environments to self-directed study can feel overwhelming. Burnout is common, especially during exam season. Mental health challenges often surface or intensify during stressful periods and are far more widespread than we often realise. 

For me, first year brought challenges I hadn’t anticipated. Grief affected my concentration, my motivation, and at times my sense of direction. It felt isolating at first, like everyone else had settled in while I was just trying to stay afloat. Opening up to my family and leaning on their support made a huge difference. Telling close friends what I was going through, even when it felt uncomfortable, helped me realise, you are rarely as alone as you think you are. As daunting as it can feel, even just telling someone you’re struggling with your mental health can be a weight lifted.  

The illusion of coping 

University can create an environment where everyone looks like they are coping perfectly. You might feel like everyone else is doing better than you. Social media can amplify the illusion that everyone else is thriving while you’re just surviving but the more conversations I had, the more I realised that most people are carrying something. Sometimes the people you least expect are dealing with their own struggles behind the scenes. 

It’s important to admit when you’re finding things hard. Reaching out to tutors, personal academic advisors, or university support services can make a massive difference in establishing a support system. Extensions, support services and mitigating circumstances exist for a reason. They are not shortcuts, they are recognition that life does not pause for deadlines. 

Redefining your success 

One of the biggest pressures at university is the belief that you must excel in every area at once, academically, socially, professionally but success does not have to mean constant productivity or unbroken enthusiasm. Sometimes success is attending one lecture when getting out of bed feels hard. Sometimes it’s emailing a tutor to explain you’re struggling. Sometimes it’s taking a break when you need it. 

There will be semesters where you feel motivated and energised, and others where you are simply doing your best to get through. I’ve found that loving university every single day is an unrealistic standard. 

It’s normal to question your choices, feel overwhelmed, or wish things were different at times. Often, the pressure we put on ourselves to meet expectations only adds to the weight we’re already carrying. University is not just about academic achievement; it’s about resilience, self-awareness, and learning how to navigate complexity. If you’re finding it hard right now, you are not alone and you are not doing university “wrong.”